We have actually had a massive argument today. I really find it to be entirely equal. I spend the first few days wondering if anything was real. She said my picture should be next to BPD. Funny thing, with Spain, their law is very discriminatory for men. People with this disorder experience wide mood swings with sudden and intense anger, which . 116.204.182.155 Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. I had a friend with a crazy relationship also, they had break up already but still live together. Many people with BPD dont even know they have BPD. Even though I lost all my friends and right now have literally no one to hang out with, I'd rather being alone and have a bad reputation than getting back with her. Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) And Concussion. She had already destroyed our entire family by this point, and she never even got the treatment! Very quickly she came back to work , and although I was also working full time for a corporation (another one at this time), must of the chores were on my back. I seen this happen both ways of course with both genders. . Jealousy, accusations, rage, violence, destroying my property. How did we not think of that? It's so bad right now, it just can't be worse. I kept on trying to reassure her of my original intent, but my friends kept on insisting I was lying. While I understand that youre suffering and need to vent, my concern is that you are wasting your energy in public like this. I hope this message and some advice from other people somewhat helps you friend X Quote Evanescent C Clarabellstar Well-known member Joined Oct 19, 2015 And kissed her, then kissed me. Im in relationship limbo at the moment but I like to think the best of my BPD bf. They essentially drag their partners into their own battle, make them experience extreme highs and extreme lows, and make their partners dependent on them by giving them affection and taking it away. To my demise. Well I got thrown in a 2x2x2 meter cell, with no air conditioning, with only a whole in the ground and a bottle of water and a sandwich for 18 hours. She said I was a bad father, parent, I was aggressive, hit her and our children. Often, the borderline who splits sees themselves as the victim, who is being mistreated. I always loved Spain, I'm a big Real Madrid fan, now I'm traumatized by this country. Borderline Personality Disorder Forum . Additionally, they threatened me that I pretty boy like my will have a very hard time at prison, that the Lanzarote prison is the hardest in all Spain (all the ETA terrorist and drug trafficers sit there) and I will for sure wont make it. GF: "U don't think he's cheating, do u? All Rights Reserved. Ironic. This is indeed a common problem. You have to cope with the usual relationship challenges while managing difficult BPD symptoms like fear of abandonment, wildly fluctuating emotions, and general instability. And they do this transition in a matter of seconds without much remorse or consideration for their partner. After a week of kitesurfing in Spain, I received a text from work I had to send a small report (5 minutes of work tops). But, with this influence also comes a great responsibility. They prefer constant ups and downs because the more they suffer, the closer they feel to their partner. And she was great. You can not put everyone in the same box, and you can not make a schematic representation of how we are as human beings. Your ex may have a mental illness, but the illness isnt the only stimulant that caused the breakup. I deeply sympathize with your pain and loss - it's horrible. She very quickly used it. Then poof! That they should not have anyone in their life to love, or be loved by. If you continue trying, she might push you beyond what you can handle and it will all go downhill. Leave your house early to go to work. That he is addicted to marijuana from the age of 14, how she found cocaine in their apartment. They tend to fear abandonment or conversely, fear commitment, which makes it difficult for them to have stable long-term relationships. Be aware of it, and manage it with care. This often leads to impulsive actions such as spending too much money or having unsafe sex. This is super helpful. In this moment the person with BPD sees everything as bad in the triggering person as if they caused them to feel this way. If she is having a bad day about her body imagine remind her of how beautiful she is, even if she denies it tell her that in your eyes she is amazing and nothing will change your mind. Dont respond to provocations either. I hope you enjoyed reading this article. The first thing to realize is that your wife made a terrible. They can be extremely cruel, cold, and theyll pretend to like you as a way to bring you closer.closer to your doom! Unpopular opinion, I know, but I don't think she will change on her own. Also ngl I have a hard time believing ypur story too as far as the sex worker but you know if you're telling the truth or not. because you clearly have experience dating someone with these problems, but do not have a clear understanding of what bpd entails. When you meet someone you think might be perfect for you, wait until a few months have passed and see how things are going. I'm scared" F: "Why do you think that?" She hid her medical appointments or data from me. This is a personal blog by someone writing from personal feeling. You have to prove her wrong. I packed my things, took my son and moved to my parents. I have seen a lot of good men in that situation, they suffer, but win in the end. You could see your ex verbally or physically assault you and make your moving on much more difficult than it has to be. I have chosen to keep quiet about my diagnosis due to articles and attitudes like this. However your not alone. For me, that was it. Copyright 2022 - 2023 Heart Eyes Magazine -. When their partner stirs up underlying feelings, their partner is blamed for how they feel, becoming all bad. Theyre used to fighting for love and recognition, so they feel that theyve gotten as much out of the relationship as they could. She forced me to gave all my passwords, and block most of my friends. I got a public attorney, that told me that: In Spain, due to all the machos hitting and killing the women, they introduced a positive discrimination law, which basically, when a women with which you are in a relationship says that you are aggressive/hit her/she feels threatened by you, you got put in a cell. She started sending hundreds of text how she loved me, she was sorry. Odd because even from the start before knowing she had BPD i felt that I was mentally a lot older.. And current nonbpd SO? By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Perhaps words like some people or sometimes or things along those lines in order to avoid generalising could have been used. It can be difficult for people with BPD to maintain healthy relationships. I wrote for you in the previous texts that my ex dumped me on my birthday without any closure, and as I was with him for 2 years I know he has BPD traits refusing to meet a therapist. But generally speaking, the nicer you express yourself, the higher the chances that your ex wont react negatively. I hope youre doing a little better. She also mentioned she loves sex and she cant stop fantasizing about me. Its important to remember that BPD isnt something your child chooses, and there are many things you can do to get them back on track. They made fun of it or thought Im crazy. Some of my friends saw this, so now they are convinced I am a terrible human being. Joined Oct 19, 2015 Messages 63. And kissed her, then kissed me. Thats hard to do after discovering infidelity. People usually see their partner in the best possible light during the honeymoon stage of the relationship. Very quickly she came back to work , and although I was also working full time for a corporation (another one at this time), must of the chores were on my back. Im not condoning my ex-wifes behavior and believe people need to be held accountable for their actions. But, in the minds of my friends the only reason a guy goes to Thailand by himself is of course to have sex. This means people with BPD may have rocky relationships,. Press J to jump to the feed. 136.243.94.45 He's fucking cheating on me, I knew it!" A borderline personality disorder is one of a group of conditions called emotionally unstable personality disorders. After struggling to save our marriage, I realized that my wife suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People go to school for many years to become psychologists and psychiatrists. Always. So much so that they start arguments out of the blue and demand solutions. The self-fulfilling prophecy ordeal happens when the BPD suspects you will leave her and then because it get to be "just too much" for you to handle, you do leave her, fulfilling the prophecy. He is likely cheating!" Btw, Christmas morning she loved me. They truly are hyper sensitive. 1. I admit that it is hard to believe the story with the sex worker. Everything it's calm already when the police come after a while. We are already a stigmatized and vulnerable group. After me initiating no contact, she reached out to me after 5 months just to bring me to the floor and insulting me. Said she received a present from one of the marketing companies she was cooperating with, and she was going with three women. If you did and you have something to add, comment below. To them, relationships are battles of power. But it also depends on how well you take care of yourself during the relationship. Holy shit.you weren't joking when you said it gets worse !!! Everything else was your exs responsibility and completely out of your control. but realise that it is just as terrifying for a borderline to witness the actions and words happening and not being able to break through the numbness that has suddenly occured. I think the main goal is to just forget about her. In this way, the BPD splitting destroys the relationship. And if they feel disinterested, they ghost and/or coldly pull away. You have failed to do this, so I doubt you are even degree educated. 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