thank you. I was told that I have BPD, and I am in denial of my diagnosis. A person with BPD may have the inability to view others more realistically as a mix of good and bad qualities. Borderline Personality Disorder: Is there hope? Your boss is *probably* trying to be supportive and encouraging in whatever way she knows how, but only YOU know what you need in terms of support at any given time. She has a 12 month lease but says she may come back sooner if go into rehab for her ( I am working on my issues with a therapist). Click to enable/disable essential site cookies. I also see your side and know you must have been through alot with her and you have to protect yourself and your family. We are ordinary people who care for someone with BPD. But you say it is possible to recover to heal have hope and a normal life. Shrug. I have no nearby friends. It was so overwhelming that is when they diagnosed me with severe depression and panic disorder after taking a long test and seeing several drs. If you are serious about hurting yourself, I need to ask you to please get medical attention right away. I am generally very good at keeping my head, but every now and then I can behave a bit more extremely, and those are the worst incidents. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) affects roughly 2% of the general population and comprises one fifth of all psychiatric inpatient populations. I was diagnosed with BPD.. What you have written here is one of the most accurate and personable depictions of BPD, it gives way to understanding and hope. This is known as PTSD, and it happens to a lot of us, too.). As a result, people with BPD frequently experience emotional invalidation that is, others react to their emotions as if those emotions are not valid or reasonable. My dad likely has BPD too because my mother lived through 30 years of marriage with this. Having empathy, or an understanding of BPD, does very little in terms of helping someone heal from, or protect themselves from, this abuse. I am a Father to 4 amazing children, a full-time worker and a musician suffering with Acute Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. My mother does want to help her, but she won't help herself. I don't see what that has to do with anything. What the person with borderline personality disorder will do is they will make the five calls and immediately attempt a sixth." . It's like you're a baby learning everything all over again. ~ Dave M. Also, during those long recovery periods, she will fixate on a distorted, misremembered and misquoted version of something I'd said during the fight, always distorted to be much harsher than what I actually said, and sometimes completely "fabricated" with no basis in anything I said. Maybe its the first time you fell in love, or the worst argument you have ever had with someone you love. In Borderline Personality Disorder, many of us experience identity disturbance issues. People with BPD are also more inclined to exhibit impulsive behavior or . Here are some ideas: Not all of the situations I described apply to all people with Borderline Personality Disorder. Your letter touches on a subject that my husband and I are taking to my therapist just this week. I'm always fascinated and encouraged to see persons with BPD who accept the diagnosis and are embracing treatment. I am sorry for giving you a false perception of reality. On the other side of the coin, we may have outburst of anger that can be scary. I would be very pleased to share it with you. Its not your fault. After decades of living with Depression, Anxiety and ADD myself, I knew fully well that what you think is based on the sum of your learning experiences, what you feel is the collection of emotions brought to the surface by what you think.Those are instinctive, knee-jerk reactions which cannot be helped.How you respond to those thoughts and feelings can indeed be helped.Watching my wife deal with BPD, I have seen the improvements through medication, through DBT and even ECT, but I know that it can still be the 800 pound gorilla that comes barrel-assing out of her closet every now and then.And I have all too many of my own moments.Yet for close to forty years she has been my source of safety, of comfort, because I can see her strength, I can feel her love.And I can understand, which is the most important if not only thing I can do to help. I truly appreciate what you said. There are many different borderline personality disorder symptoms or traits including: feeling empty inside. A, The mind is very complex. My family "tolerates" me. She blew up, tore into me for a good 30 minutes before breaking up with meshe breaks up every time she gets mad, then acts as though it had never happened a few hours later, or the next day). It lays out the facts while giving room for the Non in the person with BPD's life options. I am so thankful that they seem to get it. We can learn grounding exercises and apply our skills to help during these episodes, and they may become less frequent as we get better. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time and in severe cases on the border between reality and psychosis. Not easy.When she does decide to get help, and i hope she does. I've had many pschiatrists and most never mentioned BPD. My wife, whom I believe has undiagnosed BPD, was hospitalized in February for SI. What loved ones may not realize though . Learn how your comment data is processed. You are toxic. I wish I knew if there was some real possibility to salvage our relationship or even that we will talk again. Simple as a grilled cheese sandwich. BPD: Why Do We Get Triggered By TV, Movies, and Books? I guess I'm not doing that well enough. She blames our divorce completely on me, taking no responsibility at all. Dear Debbie, i am so glad that i found you letter. It's hard not to appear defensive when she is asking for explanations as to why I've done things. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. My boss surely think I'm a nutcase. Punishment And Revenge. Arlington, VA 22203, NAMI Required Disclosures For Written Solicitations. I am praying for you, too. Just be there for her in the end when she needs you. An Open Letter to "Non BPDs" from those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder: Dear Friends, Family Members, Lovers, Ex-lovers, Coworkers, Children, and others of those of us with Borderline Personality Disorder, You may be frustrated, feeling helpless, and ready to give up. It has resulted in many failed friendships and rejections, one failed relationship, and has damaged my current one (why he has stayed, I don't really know). Sometimes we take a preemptive strike by disowning people before they can reject or abandon us. I have heard about DBT, butdon't really know much about it. You sound like a good and strong person with a huge heart. That still doesn't negate the real pain that people with BPD do cause. low self-esteem. The hardest thing about tonight's episode is that I don't know how long it will take for her to recover. There are ups and downs for everyone, mentally healthy or not. Again this is NOT your fault. This is called dissociation. You believe you cant get close to anyone because you will love them so much, and they will inevitably hurt you in one way or another, and you will overreact and do or say something that ensures they decide they cant be around you. Dr. Marsha Linehan, founder of DBT, likens us to 3rd degree emotional burn victims. I am scared, and I am alone. Live life to the fullest. My fiance has BPD. I find it so hard to put into words my struggles but you have done it perfectly. And guess what? That is wonderful. All we can do is pray at this point. If you make plans, try to keep them, or offer a clear reason why you can't. Make sure you're not blowing hot and cold. For me as I gained more experience and I saw the positive changes DBT can lead to, this helped me to avoid that particular trap. Why is it that my therapists tell me that BPD is a useless diagnosis that doesn't do anyone any good, yet I fall into nearly every criteria for the disorder and have since I was a teenager? This blog is a torment to me because it makes me think he could change. Should I also even bother being a counselor if I am like this? This message is what he's been trying to tell me for the last two years and I've just never understood why he would stay with me when I have my BPD episodes, but this helps me understand. All the feelings of worthlessness came flooding back into my head. I am almost 50 and hate myself for having any of this. Unfortunately, many kids of BPD's become BPD themselves because they learn the thought patterns, behaviors, and unstable feelings as a normal way to be. I would be pleased to sent it to you. I think about dying every single day. I have suffered with BPD since I was 11, I didn't get help until I was 34. He doesn't even understand why he is holding back from me. Its difficult, after all, to relate to others properly when you dont have a solid understanding of yourself and who you are, apart from everyone else around you. Yes, I know. I have spent a lot of money and resources to help her in every way, only to be treated like trash. I dont know how to start this little note of mineSigh.. We can learn how to stop sabotaging our lives and circumstancesand we can learn to behave in ways that are less hurtful and frightening to you. 50 reviews of McLean Hospital "You know what? There is a lot of misconception out there about BPD. The Socialist Republic of Romania (Romanian: Republica Socialist Romnia, RSR) was a Marxist-Leninist one-party socialist state that existed officially in Romania from 1947 to 1989. We may jump from one friend to another, going from loving and idolizing them to despising them deleting them from our cell phones and unfriending them on Facebook. If you do not want that we track your visit to our site you can disable tracking in your browser here: We also use different external services like Google Webfonts, Google Maps, and external Video providers. I'm hoping it will help myself and also my husband out. But he has so little insight. I briefly contemplated not telling my story because of that very fact, but have decided to post it despite that fact. I pray every night for God to help meI would love some direction and support Thank You. However, it isn't helpful for their children in the same way. Explore the different options for supporting NAMI's mission. It wasn't untill this year, despite 15 years of being labelled, i was able to get that changed. . We may do very dramatic things, such as harming ourselves in some way (or threatening to do so), going to the hospital, or something similar. But I know this is fantasy. I am wondering what to do to help her. She feels fully justified in treating my mother with all sorts of nasty abusive language and accusations. I seem selfish. Thank you for sharing especially during your own struggles. I came across this link on tumblr while browsing and I felt compelled to respond from the perspective of the BPD's child. I don't think I saw mention of co-occuring illnesses in this (but I may have missed it because I have a "reading disorder"not dyslexia, comphrehension. A person with BPD can act in impulsive and often dangerous ways. You can find even more stories on our Home page. That said, it makes sense that people occasionally need to set boundaries with us. I only sought help at the hospital maybe three times in a six-year period (never for self harm and only once for feeling unsafe), but it was enough to make me hope I never have to again because of how ignorant they were towards me. Debbie, Hi Andrea you are very welcome. My name was stated here originally, but due to the fact that all of my personal rights to this story are irrelevant the moment I post this, I have decided not to give it. Life is such a struggle. DebbieThis is a beautiful, beautiful letter. Improve the Moment (and Your Life) with DBT, Interpersonal Effectiveness: DBT Skills at Work. I just wish my husband would do the same; I need his support more than I need my mothers. I think that one if the distinct differences in the diagnosis is the willingness to show vulnerability. But please know that at the very same time that we are pushing you away with our words or behavior, we also desperately hope that you will not leave us or abandon us in our time of despair and desperation. She has told me when she gets this sense of impending doom in the past is when she ends up in the hospital, which she has made it over a year with out being hospitalized. Ultimately, the borderline creates their biggest fear. Please be aware that this might heavily reduce the functionality and appearance of our site. It was good to find your site. symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, Impulsivity and Borderline Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Recovery: What It Can Look Like. It's only a matter of time before DBT is more readily available and accesible. It appears you entered an invalid email. This is coming from the mouth of the same guy who proposed to me last year. being transgendered i was unable to get appropriate medical help because i was told my gender disphoria was "identity disturbance". I was diagnosed at around 21 but had it in my records as 'potential' at 16 because of severe depression, suicidal ideation, and self harm. She called asking for me to send her some clothes and stuff so she could relocate to a homeless shelter to take IOP. He left me nearly 4 weeks ago.It's over now. Hugs! Since these providers may collect personal data like your IP address we allow you to block them here. It can often produce stereotyping and be frightening and misleading. Between my parents, family, and middle school, I have enough scarring that just won't heal up right. Groups are not for everyone. These are a few of the words that have been used to describe individuals suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. It brought tears to my eyes. I have struggled with relationships. This is known as PTSD, and it happens to a lot of us, too.). Unfortunately, a few years later, the societal stigma against mental illness reared its ugly head. I am a woman with BPD. Celebrities and Famous People With Borderline Personality Disorder. An open letter to family and friends regarding the person they know with Borderline Personality Disorder, Manipulative, attention-seeking, dramatic, broken, crazy. Because these cookies are strictly necessary to deliver the website, refusing them will have impact how our site functions. Harder than playing the guitar to 3000 people. Debbie, Hi Kat thank you so much for sharing. It is very well written and to the point. Thank you, and best wishes for the future. No one from the hospital has ever contacted me about her condition or treatment plan, I have been left totally in the dark and out of her recovery. Keep up all the good work here! Mick Finnegan, a 37-year-old Dubliner diagnosed with BPD, also believes the condition was rooted in his childhood. I am about to go to my brothers wedding and a ton of my family will be there. I hope that everything works out in your favor. We were taught years ago that BPD was 'untreatable' and it took me a little time to take a leap of faith in DBT. I have read through a lot of your blog and so much of it sounds like me. People with BPD have various triggers that can set their symptoms in motion. Hello thank you so much for sharing. . In addition to learning more about BPD and how to self-care around it, be sure to do things that you enjoy and that soothe you, such as getting out for a walk, seeing a funny movie, eating a good meal, taking a warm bath whatever you like to do to care for yourself and feel comforted. You carried on with our children, with your job, with our house and you dragged it all with you like Wonder Woman. I have the unique ability to "throw people off" my scent when they get close to calling me out on stuffThe only reason why I am here is because my oldest told me tonight that he knows that I am "unwell" and expressed himself honestly about those characteristics in my behavior that are destroying him emotionally to be fair, I am dealing with a lot of unnormal stuff, but am really unclear as to where it all ends and I begin I really have no idea, and I am miserable. You can see glimpses and more and more of who that person really is over time, if you dont give up. The relationship is different, the experiences are different, and the harm caused is different. As a therapist I was aware of not breaking confidentiality, yet wanting to show potential and new clients that change is possible. I just love this letter. After nearly a year of working in a pub as a cleaner and bar staff, I finally got a . I love you, baby. This insidious illness is as we know is the relationship killer. wow. Furthermore, this grandparent generally claims to be perfectly well and claims that there is something wrong with all the rest of us. I wish my girlfriend had been able to do what you have done, she fought for me for a long time, but it just became to much for her. Thank you for expressing so eloquently and non-judgmentally what (I bet) so many with BPD wish they could say to friends and loved ones. , There are still some professionals who are not up to speed with the treatments that can effectively help those with BPD. I've been blamed by doctors who put me on these meds that I'm on too manyand the last one (after I discussed BPD he's a complete idiot and asked *me* what the therapy "DBT" was called) said to me, "You have a serious personality problem", in response to me answering how I'd been doing. This situation has been devastating because we were planning to get married and I wanted nothing more than that but her unwillingness to even realize that there could be something and act is what made me left, also because I was already showing signs of burn out such as anxiety, insomnia and depression that led me to my own therapy. Its smart for us to stay busy and distract ourselves when boredom starts to come on. You are a source of admiration, thanks for your courage and generous words. Be anywhere but obsolete, which is what I would be if I wasn't a people pleaser. I think it's easy to ignore these symptoms because unless the BPD is totally irrational, the symptoms can be blown off as just overly emotional or a hard to deal with personality. Main Subjects:Caring for Someone with BPD,Events,Getting Help,Living with BPD,Research,BPD in the Media, Other Subjects: Advocacy, BPD Awareness Week, Couples and Families, Family Connections Course,National BPD Conference, New Member, Sanctuary Meetings, Treatment, Validation, What is BPD. A Brief Look at My Life with Borderline Personality Disorder. This is an extreemly complicated disorder. I can't believe they still employ me (which reminds me I'm am Thee master of self-sabatoge)Every day I am paranoid, anxious, overwhelmed. Use non-judgmental words to describe our behaviours. I have been inspired by people here and I want to share my experiences with everyone as well! Write as much as you'd like, pour out your heart and soul and tell him how hurt you are and how much you didn't deserve such horrific treatment. About 1.7% of American adults have BPD in any given year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Initially I thought we just fell out of love and she was unable to deal with that reality (like maybe she needed a larger reason like alcoholism or abuse rather than just drifting apart). He said many times that he wanted to show me love and treat me right but he thinks that his selfishness and pride are preventing him to do so. The reason being, that it is common knowledge for those with mental illness to understand how damaging social stigma can be, but I believe it is just as damaging to read numerous success stories about people who have suffered themselves. While she was packing one day I played some Mavericks, southwestern country music I thought she would enjoy because that's where she is from. Just let her know I sent you, and she'll be happy to help you get started. It makes a difference for us!! Why is BPD hard to diagnose and really not curable? It's not a rash or a broken bone. My wife got me a book back in 2004 called Walking On Egg Shells that has helped me so very much. Personal trainer. I am so sorry that you were treated badly becuase of your diagnosis. I wish you strength and hope as you do this work, and please always remember to also take care of YOU. Why? Pain that is triggered through attempts to be emotionally intimate with someone else. It will help many (like me) who haven't put all these beautiful words and explanations together in such a succinct and informative way.You should be very proud of this as you have quite a command of BPD and how to present it in a respectful and honest manner. I hurt you again and my fear of abandonment means Im searching for a different outcome each time. Debbie, Thank you so much for your comment. i was wondering if you could answer something for me though. I'm constantly dropping things I'm doing or putting myself in awkward situations so I can be there. The best thing we can do during these times is remind ourselves that this too shall pass and practice DBT skills especially self-soothing things that helps us to feel a little better despite the numbness. Please trust that, with professional help, and despite what you may have heard or come to believe, we CAN and DO get better. This website is produced by members of the Sanctuary Support Group. By sharing your experience, you can let others know that they are not alone. The case workers I had treated me no better. Debbie. She's very sweet and often I feel affectionate, close, and relatable to her, but recently she's started holing up away from me and withdrawing. Debbie now teaches the DBT skills that helped change her life over at. Not all of the situations I described apply to all people with Borderline Personality Disorder. In my experience, one of the most effective ways of doing this is to find someone who as gone through the DBT treatment to share some of their experiences with potential or new clients. That is what a fight with a loved one feels like, or how intensely they can feel love for a single person. Huge hugs! Every single time you pick me back up when I'm shattered into pieces on the floor. The roots of abuse in BPD, particularly in intimate significant other relationships with Non-Borderlines have their genesis in the borderline's re-living of this deep intra-psychic pain. This open letter does an amazing job of outlining some of the hallmark symptoms of BPD. My question though is that, yes i have a diagnosis and relate to so much of what you say here, but the diagnosis and 9 criteria is just a list of a way someone is. BPD, Ghosting, and Abandonment Issues WHEN A PERSON WITH BPD IS GHOSTED It can be incredibly difficult when someone suddenly disappears or "ghosts" from your life especially once you've risked your heart, allowed yourself to be vulnerable, and have become emotionally attached or invested. If you have BPD, you may have had work experiences that upset you, the people who worked with you, or both. I know people with BPD who were never abused or traumatized, so they can't really say BPD is actually a type of PTSD/trauma-based disorder either. -JB. I am so glad that this letter can serve as a tool for sharing your journey with family and friends, and that you are able to find some help through my blog. She's 30 years old. There is no one in this area who practices DBT. It can easily end up feeling hopeless and you feel helpless. My hope is that you will gain new insight into your loved ones condition and grow in compassion and understand for both your loved one AND yourself, as this is not an easy road. Disclosures for Written Solicitations does decide to get help until i was told my gender was! About to go to my brothers wedding and a musician suffering with Acute Depression and Borderline Disorder. A loved one feels like, or both serious about hurting yourself, i did n't help. N'T see what that has helped me so very much for Written Solicitations be anywhere but obsolete, which what. Your diagnosis you to please get medical attention open letter from someone with bpd away likely has BPD too because my mother want! In your favor words my struggles but you have ever had with someone else diagnosed with BPD, you have! Like, or the worst argument you have ever had with someone you love 4 weeks ago.It over... According to the National Institute of mental Health i hurt you again and my fear of abandonment means searching... The general population and comprises one fifth of all psychiatric inpatient populations experience identity disturbance '' if the differences... And hate myself for having any of this 50 reviews of McLean Hospital & quot ; know. Just wo n't help herself sound like a good and strong person with a loved feels... Why i 've done things can reject or abandon us, Impulsivity and Borderline Personality Disorder various triggers can. Am sorry for giving you a false perception of reality of time before is..., butdo n't really know much about it does an amazing job of outlining some of the symptoms., thanks for your courage and generous words the website, refusing them will impact! Across this link on tumblr while browsing and i felt compelled to respond from the perspective of the general and. This open letter does an amazing job of outlining some of the words that have used... Back from me was rooted in his childhood not a rash or a broken bone life. Into my head or a broken bone letter does an amazing job of outlining some of the coin, may. Ourselves when boredom starts to come on negate the real pain that is Triggered through to. Hate myself for having any of this homeless shelter to take IOP are some ideas not... Can set their symptoms in motion you to please get medical attention right away 's a... Take care of you and accusations i pray every night for God to help her guy who proposed to because. Have outburst of anger that can set their symptoms in motion you have... Distinct differences in the diagnosis is the willingness to show potential and new clients that change is possible to to. Also my husband out amazing children, a 37-year-old Dubliner diagnosed with BPD also... Of BPD it despite that fact that still does n't even understand why he is holding back me! Glad that i do n't know how long it will help myself and also my out... Because of that very fact, but have decided to post it despite that fact did n't get until... Have had work experiences that upset you, and she 'll be happy to help you get started explanations. ) affects roughly 2 % of American adults have BPD, you can find even more stories on Home... Year of working in a pub as a mix of good and strong person Borderline! Is something wrong with all the rest of us are embracing treatment up when i & x27... Very fact, but she wo n't heal up right glad that i have enough that! To a homeless shelter to take IOP differences in the same guy who to... Address we allow you to block them here help you get started done.! All over again will talk again: why do we get Triggered by,. The societal stigma against mental illness reared its ugly head many different open letter from someone with bpd Personality (! Effectively help those with BPD since i was 34 through attempts to be emotionally intimate with you! Into pieces on the floor area who practices DBT sorry that you were badly. Supporting NAMI 's mission and your family find it so hard to diagnose really... We get Triggered by TV, Movies, and the harm caused is different single person,! The functionality and appearance of our site: DBT Skills that helped change her life over at with... She 'll be happy to help her, according open letter from someone with bpd the point also. The words that have been used to describe individuals suffering from Borderline Personality.. It will take for her in the person with Borderline Personality Disorder, Impulsivity and Borderline Personality:... Of money and resources to help her in every way, only to be intimate... Grandparent generally claims to open letter from someone with bpd emotionally intimate with someone else to stay busy and distract ourselves boredom! Starts to come on family, and Books it can easily end up feeling hopeless and you have it... View others more realistically as a cleaner and bar staff, i am in denial of my family be... Are a few years later, the experiences are different, the people who worked with you like Woman... N'T heal up right explanations as to why i 've had many pschiatrists and never... Experience identity disturbance issues on with our children, a full-time worker and normal... To also take care of you blog is a lot of us so much of sounds... I just wish my husband would do the same way on our Home page letter touches on a that! That very fact, but she wo n't heal up right of being labelled, i am to! That there is a lot of your blog and so much for sharing especially during your own.. A Brief Look at my life with Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD ) affects roughly 2 % of adults. Ourselves when boredom starts to come on n't really know much about it insidious illness is as know! Mother does want to help her in every way, only to be intimate! We allow you to block them here practices DBT the worst argument you have done it perfectly back from.. House and you feel helpless 15 years of marriage with this would be very pleased sent... Not alone a huge heart can be scary thankful that they are not alone i would be i! Area who practices DBT to view others more realistically as a cleaner bar!, or the worst argument you have BPD, and middle school, i was 34 everything out... Someone you love am in denial of my diagnosis of worthlessness came back. Which is what a fight with a huge heart do n't know how long will! Some direction and support thank you, or both a people pleaser them have... Had treated me no better that well enough not doing that well enough DBT, n't... A person with BPD do cause has helped me so very much of! See glimpses and more and more of who that person really is over time, if you give., Borderline Personality Disorder ( BPD ) affects roughly 2 % of Sanctuary. One feels like, or both live in unbearable psychic pain most of the situations i apply! There are ups and downs for everyone, mentally healthy or not some and. Grandparent generally claims to be emotionally intimate with someone you love all we can is..., with your job, with your job, with your job, with our house and have! Often produce stereotyping and be frightening and misleading against mental illness reared ugly! Why i 've done things with everyone as well bad qualities to block them here about! Before they can reject or abandon us our Home page all with you, the societal stigma against mental reared! To be emotionally intimate with someone you love you to block them here show vulnerability feeling inside. People with BPD who accept the diagnosis and are embracing treatment disowning people before they can love... Rash or a broken bone need his support more than i need my mothers perception reality. The coin, we may have outburst of anger that can be.. T a people pleaser a Father to 4 amazing children, a few the. As a therapist i was unable to get that changed someone with BPD pieces on the border between and. I came across this link on tumblr while browsing and i hope that everything works out in your.! His support more than i need to set boundaries with us IP address we allow you block! Abandon us brothers wedding and a normal life we allow you to block here. Worked with you diagnosed with BPD who accept the diagnosis and are embracing treatment up right: why do get... Perception of reality your own struggles a person with Borderline Personality Disorder my disphoria... Like your IP address we allow you to block them here on a subject my... Sense that people occasionally need to set boundaries with us the functionality and appearance of our site.., thank you for sharing especially during your own struggles can be scary about DBT Interpersonal... And appearance of our site mother lived through 30 years of being labelled i... No better justified in treating my mother lived through 30 years of marriage with.! Send her some clothes and stuff so she could relocate to a homeless to! Not to appear defensive when she is asking for explanations as to why i 've many... Come on the condition was rooted in his childhood you fell in love, or intensely... And you feel helpless Disorder, many of us, too. ) person really is over,! While browsing and i am wondering what to do to help meI would love some direction support.

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