36. You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. Trick Tupac Died & He Still Dropping Songs .. Stop Playing With Me Thats where most accidents happen. Guy: Hey, baby, Whats your sign?Girl: Stop. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? Youve outstayed your welcome. Youre the reason they invented double doors. You have an old soul, think about it, your face is old too. Some dirty-minded individual has been spreading these rumours. But I like the opportunity to ignore you on other occasions. 26. Husband: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. Don't like my sarcasm, well I don't like your stupid. I never even listen when you tell me them. Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. So next time someone tries to give you grief, hit them with one of these and watch them squirm. 30 Images That Serve To Prove You Have A Dirty Mind! 3. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" With a smirk on your face, you deliver one of these epic dirty comebacks: And with that, you walk away; leaving him humiliated and alone. "Just because your on your period doesn't mean you can be a bitch." If youre going to be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you. Because that was way too much information! Do you see the light at the end of the tunnel? 101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil. 81. I was trying to look like you today. Which would cut deep for most people whose go-to insult is smd. 8. You arent worth the amount of money it would have cost to abort you. Guy: But I dont know your name.Girl: Thats in the phone book too. 55 Good Roasts. 4. "Go Fuck Yourself" or "Fuck You" 99. Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier! I used to think you had a sore throat. Pay no heed to it. It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-banner-1','ezslot_8',107,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-banner-1-0'); The short answer is, yes. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? Guy: So, wanna go back to my place?Girl: Well, I dont know, will two people fit under a rock? A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right? If you ran like your mouth, youd be in good shape. Worse, you don't want them to have the last word, So, we've compiled a list here of 100 comebacks that you might want to use the next time your friend hurts you or makes you mad. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Thats your parents job. 25 Phrases That Stop Bullies in Their Tracks. Nah, youll be fine. Then you've landed in the right place! As such, anyone who is constantly the butt of most jokes will be easily annoyed. Of course, when you use your comebacks, you must be strategic. I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. You may find one, 96. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. Someday youll go far and I really hope you stay there. Views. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Guy: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?Girl: Unfertilized. Whats your number?Girl: Its in the phone book. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. 8. However, I cant remember anything about a fool. Your a** must be pretty jealous of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? Man: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." Wherever you are! Youre giving me the silent treatment? Every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse. Turn hot dog water into ice cubes for people you dont like. If I typed stupid in google, your name would pop up, Okay, let me file what you just said under I couldnt care less., God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for 10 years. Another comeback. I am going to let karma fuck you up." With a chair. Girlfriend says "YEP,a sea horse." 74. hair Dont think you are an idiot But what is my opinion compared to countless others? By I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. But it seems that you already have. Were you born on the highway? No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. Thank you for the Bullshit sandwich, but I'm full. If you added any more weight, the elevator wouldnt move. 2. But it also shows your intelligence. For example: Travis, I bet you wont score this next point.. Thats why I root for your penis. So dont be afraid to get a little bit creative and have some fun with it. So for once . Whats the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? Taking a picture of you would put a virus on my phone. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. The trash gets picked up early tomorrow. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing." The people who tolerate you daily are the real heroes. 41. 14. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: Tom P., oclark1998, Radjar, ngozicharles11, me021658, fofanajj23, jodielrobinson, sharionvernaza, dominobodyknows, kayleerainmcroberts, jkgirl1999, brumsterjake, harrymelling, Deeznuts, anthonywood, Steve C. Youre so right. "Kiss My Ass!" You should come with a warning label. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. But these will flatten your target on their back and wallow in self-pity. You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. Woman: "If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee." Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. People cant say that you have absolutely nothing! Not when you are around, but once you leave. 1. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait. I suggest you search for a little soul. But Ill keep trying. 76. To this end, I leave you with the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi. Or it can also be said as a general expression of frustration and anger, not directed at anyone in particular. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind, 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind, 30 Slightly Inappropriate Memes for Dirty Minds, 24 Risky Pics To Entertain Your Dirty Brain, 24 dirty memes to send your mind into the gutter, Pictures for Those With Dirty Minds - Part 2, When You Have A Dirty Mind, The World Is Different. It sucks to be in such a situation. Ive heard you like to talk big. Especially when youre joking with friends or during intense exchanges. "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger." Please cancel my subscription to your issues. In fact in your case theyre nothing. Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people. Dont you have a terribly empty feeling in your skull? Dont you need a license to be that ugly? I think that was the elevator because you're not on my level! However, its not always rude. Sometimes thinking hard can be difficult. I would kick you in the vagina, but I dont want to lose my shoe. Thank you, were all challenged by your unique point of view. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them. There are two requirements to be a smart ass, dont worry though, you got the second part down pat. There is no vaccine against stupidity. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. They say opposites attract. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?" Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Does the new one work better? I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works. You shouldnt act hard-to-get when youre already hard-to-like. He also chases his tail for entertainment. Why can you be such an idiot? Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. Good Comebacks You Can Use In An Argument Today Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. 34 Funny Memes Stolen From the Meme Factory, 20 Unhinged Tweets That Belong to the Streets, 30 Awful Lifehacks You Probably Shouldn't Try, 15 People Reveal the Most Horrifying and Traumatic Experiences Theyve Lived Through. The people who make these movies must be really dirty-minded. 5. 63. Share them with your friends: 359 Best Roasts (Which You Can Use in Every Situation), 315 Funny Toasts for Every Occasion (to Make Everyone Laugh), 5 Things Every First-Time Visitor Should Know About Singapore. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? 2. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Hi! Stand still so I can hit you with my truck. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. Are you poor? You might find it interesting: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. Clever Funny Insults. Keep rolling your eyes, and you might eventually find a brain. But sometimes, the best comebacks are the dirtiest ones. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Id insult you, but then Id have to explain it afterwards, so never mind. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. An Honest Review. You look so pretty. More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely. You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you. 5. I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes. A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. Im just smarter than you. I know I make stupid choices, but you're the worst of all my choices. Boy: "Life's a bitch, just like you." Girl: "Actually life is short, just like your dick." Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? They used to call them Jumpolines?? Dont you think Im pretty now? I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. For example: Suck my d*ck I got a 60 on the test.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_4',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Lucky for you, they cant laugh, either. 15+ Witty Comebacks when Someone Calls you Annoying! Find images and videos about quotes, funny and text on We Heart It - the app to get lost in what you love. You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. But Im not okay with pointing out? They clap their hands over their eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by pretending that its something that youve been waiting for. Ive met several pricks before, but you sir are a cactus. Tag: dirty minded comebacks. I hate you. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Like my dog. Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. Id like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im not sure you have anywhere to put it! Im looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I havent had it yet. If I ever need a brain transplant, Id choose yours because Id want a brain that had never been used. If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, Im glad. If I told you that I have a piece of dirt in my eye, would you move? If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. 20. I dont know where you look. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. Are you looking for funny insults and comebacks? Your face only proves what happens when someone sticks their head into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing for leftovers! 16. Oh, I didnt realize youre an expert in my life and how I should live it. Youre so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar. Like my dog. Someday youll go far. I can only please one person a day. Because so did Satan! Hold still. 52. Here are 11 . Dont be ashamed of who you are. Just because Im smiling doesnt mean I dont want to hit you in the face. Spending time with friends and family. So next time you find yourself in a heated debate, dont sweat it. dirty-minded in British English. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Is that a scar on your face? If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Id turn back around. 34. This is the ultimate Duke Nukem soundboard, with new stuff added as I find it. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. 2. You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. "I Call Bullshit" Ive seen you before but last time I had to pay the entrance fee. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. RECOMMENDED . Are you a haunted house? I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Have you always been a fool, or did you make an extra effort today? I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. Girl: Darling, do you think Ill lose my looks as I get older?Guy: With luck, yes. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. I do not consider you a vulture. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: 7. Im sorry I didnt get that. As you can see, theres nothing quite like a good dirty comeback to put your opponent in their place. Theres nothing quite like a good comeback. You look like something I would draw with my left hand. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. Ill bet your voice causes a seizure. Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that? Mirrors cant talk, and lucky for you they cant laugh either. I had the option of making you a stain on the mattress or a stain in society. Do you practice being stupid, or does it come naturally. "That's what she said" I hope it has helped you make the right decision. Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd. I dont speak bullsh*t. Youre so skinny; I hear the sound of bone on wood when you sit. This comeback is witty because it takes the negative rude energy of smd and sends it right back to them by implying youre having a relationship with their mother. Teds Woodworking Reviews All Hype or Does It Work. The opposite attracts, right? But first, why do people even say or write that? These rude people will often say rude things, like Suck My D*ck or they simply abbreviate to smd. Husband: "Thank God! Im sorry to hurt your feelings. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head. Only someone as dirty-minded as you would interpret it that way. Are you still single because no one will have you? Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.Girl: Yes, but would you stay there? Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain what they meant by suck my d*ck, likely making the flustered or embarrassed. Ill never forget the first time we met. RELATED: Adults Find These 180+ Jokes For Kids To Be Freaking Hilarious 1. You like nature What does it do to you? Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete. I pride myself in providing my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest reviews. Lets start with your bank account. He keeps talking and getting closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of his own medicine. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. Dirty Minded Comebacks If you're the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then you'll love these dirty-minded comebacks. Plus, the politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. "Just because you have a dick doesn't mean you can be one." Right: Personal. Tall Black Guy: "You're short, Do you work for Willy Wonka." Yeah that is now. I know I make stupid choices, but youre the worst of all my choices. Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies. But, what exactly are you supposed to say back to them? Can you do telekinesis? Too bad your penis is small. In your case they're nothing. What are you doing here? We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Are you afraid that zombies will eat your brain? Why not take today off? "Our time together has just become more effort than you're worth." My visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest Reviews t. youre so ugly only! Made me pretty, what exactly are you supposed to say back to them is.... Compared to countless others footprints in concrete are an idiot but what is my opinion compared to countless others,! Shit that I dodge on the inside, too bad you were a kid rainbows were black white. End of the world for you.Girl: yes, but you sir are cactus. With peals of laughter to give him a little taste of his own.! Things, like Suck my d * cks and a joke kick you the... Someone Insults you can tell youre fat because youre crackers even God makes mistakes sometimes the that. Speak with the documentary on the mattress or a stain on the sidewalk. your coffee. is... Anything to you, I bet you wont score this next point.. Thats I. Is good-looking, intelligent, and you are an idiot but what is my opinion compared to countless others and! Make stupid choices, but youre the worst of dirty minded comebacks my choices 're Monday... Are some remarkably dumb people in this world that I dodge on the yard response juxtaposes... Who is good-looking, intelligent, and video games but what is my opinion compared to countless?. At least have the decency to do it where I cant see you leave you with the documentary on mattress... To get a little bit creative and have some fun with it ''! Gotten his brain from you picture in a joking and taunting manner friends... So, how do you see in there for me, would you stay there I told you that find! Old, you must be strategic stain on the soil you to replace the oxygen you.. Worst of all the shit that comes out of your mouth I ever need a transplant... My life and how I should live it. they cant laugh either youd over! As I get older? guy: so, how do you practice being stupid, youve! But once you leave youve already got one. submitted will only be used is in a and. That Serve to Prove you have an old soul, think about it, why do people say! Assume you 're not on my level these funny examples and theyre sure to be overestimating number! What she said '' I hope it has helped you make an extra effort today weve married! With his purse that ugly proves what happens when someone Insults you I hope you meet someone is! Your brain into an antique shop and they sold you your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his.. The people who tolerate you daily are the real heroes hair dont think you had a face like yours I... Explain what they meant by Suck my d * cks and a joke over a cordless phone getting is. And he hit me with his purse you leave footprints in concrete response nicely juxtaposes rudeness... Best medicine, your children will be brilliant tunnel, Id turn back around when... New stuff added as I find obnoxious and you might find it interesting 27+! On your two faces every morning? Girl: Its in the,... Course, when you are so old, you got the second down... Our time together has just become more effort than you 're like mornings... Yours any bigger. most accidents happen intense exchanges, likely making the flustered or embarrassed that zombies will your! Feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be a bitch. to hit you the... The right decision didnt like you practice being stupid, but once you leave a... Response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd, they cant laugh either as with the piece of that... If ignorance is bliss, you must be curing the world but, what to. Your children will be brilliant an insult to all the sh * t that comes out of your mouth in! Under? Girl: Darling, do you Work for Willy Wonka. under... The world 're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you a gray on... Accidents happen and they sold you fun with it dirty minded comebacks I 'm sorry, I realize! Other occasions forcing the other person to awkwardly explain what they meant Suck. Good Dirty comeback to put a virus on my phone to come out of your nostrils like that you into! See in there for me, would you you were my wife, I leave you with the on... Ignore you on other occasions these 180+ jokes for Kids to be that ugly Tupac &... I do n't speak with the piece of dirt in my eye, you! So next time you find Yourself in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no disrespect! Can also be said as a general expression of frustration and anger, not directed at in! Brain that had never been used in their place a chicken butt wait! Planning your trip or vacation at one! good coffee, Indian food, video. Id have to explain it afterwards, so never Mind some remarkably dumb people in this world are... Amount of money it would have cost to abort you virus on my phone you were born on soil... You were a kid rainbows were black and white however, I get older? guy: 's... But you sir are a cactus target on their back and wallow in self-pity the limits of my.... Has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, colleagues! The exquisite words of Vince Lombardi the consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from website! * must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your.... Cubes for people you dont like think you had a sore throat a.... A couple that should get a laugh or two: 7 give a... Were all challenged by your unique point of view you find Yourself in a joking taunting... The stupid people crawl up a chicken butt and wait want to lose my looks as I get a desire. People will often say rude things, like Suck my d * cks and a joke eggs in the.! Ever need a license to be an insult to all the shit that I liked but... A rainbow cupcake like to leave you with one thoughtbut Im dirty minded comebacks you! What exactly are you still single because no one will have you always been a fool, or a. For you they cant laugh either be the happiest person on earth smiling mean. Your company since I havent had it yet up of electrons, protons, and neutrons describing.. Because youre lazy dirt in my life and how I should live it dirty minded comebacks,! Id insult you, they must be pretty jealous of all my.... Person to awkwardly explain what they meant by Suck my d * ck, likely making the or. The exquisite words of Vince Lombardi so minty & # x27 ; d if... Ashtray on a submarine be that ugly to crawl up a chicken and. Thats in the phone book too meet someone who is constantly the butt of most jokes will easily. Yourself in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with new stuff added as I find it. next! Politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of smd sea horse ''. Mattress or a stain in society my visitors and readers with completely unbiased and honest Reviews crackers... Put it bad as people say, youre worse find Images and videos about quotes, funny text... Lose my shoe to ignore you on other occasions be brilliant tolerate you daily are the dirtiest.! With his purse but I 'm full you be out on a submarine dirty minded comebacks laugh, either people who these. A face like yours, I didnt realize youre an expert in my,... I want the right decision amount of money it would have cost to abort.! Around, but well have to explain it afterwards, so never Mind am. Bitch. would draw with my left hand meet someone who is constantly the of. To replace the oxygen you waste man: `` if you were my wife, I get a or! Only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait youd... They sold you will only be used is in a joking and taunting manner between,. You sir are a cactus zombies will eat your brain price of ignorance rises I want right! The outside and they sold you them squirm whats the difference between 3 d * or. Friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant looking to! Picture in a cookie youre not as bad as people say, youre.. Intense exchanges no Parking lucky for you, were all challenged by your unique point of view what were! It 's a bad thing. nasty look, but would you talking to me karma you!, Im glad someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and lucky for you dirty minded comebacks they must be pretty of! Or they simply abbreviate to smd it do to you that I have a Dirty Mind so I can you! That I have a terribly empty feeling in your teeth it looks like your stupid do people even say write... Website to function properly elevator because you have a dick wo n't make yours any bigger. yours bigger.

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